Awkward and Awesome

I decided to do an awkward and awesome post! Enjoy!

Awesome: Waking up to the call (and smell) of hot pancakes! On a weekday too!!!

Awkward: Going to sleep, and after having a rather creepy thought, the extremely strong wind howls and sounds like thunder... That was slightly scary.

Awesome: Watching Dad give a bunch of little girls instructions about tea parties. He was telling them to crook their pinkies! It was so funny!!!

Awkward: I went to look for a new pair of glasses. I hand the lady my prescription, she glances at it and exclaims, "So, basically, you have one eye that's really bad, and one that's not really bad at all." Gee, thanks. Doesn't everybody want to hear that! (I'm being sarcastic here...)  'You have one eye that's really bad.'

Awkward: Later, after Mom said something about getting new glasses for herself, the lady asked Mom, "Do you have bifocals yet?" ...Wow. Need I say more....

Awesome: Going to a birds of prey presentation, and learning all sorts of cool things!

Awkward: Having one of the said birds do it's 'business' less than a yard away from me.

Awesome: When the guy giving the presentation mention Despicable Me, by referring to one of the birds.. "It's so fluffy!!!!!!"

Awkward: Well..... How do I put this.. Apparently, the water bottle that I pulled out of the fridge at church had a hole in the bottom of it... I found this out after it had leaked all over Dad's sermon notes, and after worship had started, leading me to turn around and walk off the stage (right after walking onto it..), grab my dripping water bottle, and carry it away, during the first song of worship.

Awesome: Going to watch a five year old, and being told within the first 5 minutes, that I was the 'best babysitter ever.' (heart melts)

Awesome: Then being told later in the week by his grandfather, that apparently I had a new friend, because the little boy wouldn't stop talking about me after I left! (any bit of my heart that's left, melts)

Awesome: Getting to spend a whole week with my Grandma and Aunt!!!! First time we've seen family since we've moved!

Awkward: Driving in the car with my aunt who was in a really friendly mood, and decided to wave to every person and car that passed... It was awkward, but funny too. Love you!!!

Awkward: Watching my afore-mentioned aunt skip along the sidewalk to the car. (By the way... I may have possibly skipped along with her at a later time during the day. Maybe I did. Maybe I didn't.)

Awesome: Getting my drivers license!!!

Awkward: People asking me if I've driven anywhere by myself yet, and having to answer, "No." Because I'm not added to the insurance yet. :)

Awesome: Little Sis lying behind me with her arms wrapped around my waist. And then seeing her wonderful, huge, gorgeous, smile after she read the first sentence. ;) Love you!

Awkward: Realizing that Little Sis is wearing socks that I remember wearing a few years ago....

Awesome: Seeing prairie dogs for the first time!!!! They. Are. So. Cute!!!!!!

Awesome: Getting a bunch of jobs/job offers! Some of which are once (for example, babysitting)  and others are/will be on going!

Awesome: Reading a book to the girls at Bible study, and as soon as I finished the chapter, they all look up at me, "READ MORE!"

Awkward: Having a sore throat while reading the afore-mentioned book to the afore-mentioned girls, therefore having to stop, because I couldn't keep talking! :( Okay, not so much awkward as painful...

A New Year

Okay. First of all, I have a disclaimer. I know this post is filled with rather random things, and my thoughts don't all flow together, but I hope you can at least understand what I'm saying. And if you can't, don't worry. It's not the first time someone hasn't understood me. ;) I hope that something I wrote stands out to you, and means something to you. Even if it is all random and lacks all hope of organization. So, without further ado, welcome to my thoughts. My ramblings. And, try to enjoy. :)

It's snowing again. Oh, snow. There's so many things that come to my mind when I thing of snow. But today, one thing is more predominant than the rest. Today is the last day of a 2013. I can't believe time has gone by so fast. Some days, it seems like it was just a few weeks ago, when I was standing with all my friends (most of them) in the yard, laughing, talking about random things, and finally, having to say goodbye. Yet, other times, in seems like it's been years since then. But, back to snow. :)
Snow. It falls, and melts. Comes, and goes away. A new year has come, and gone away. Snow goes away, but we know it will come back. The new year ends, but we know another will come.

The New Year is a time of happiness, but a time of sadness too. The New Year is exciting, yet dreadful, wonderful, yet heart-wrenching. It's hope, and dread, peace, and anguish. It's full of so many emotions and thoughts, there's no possible way to explain them all.

I'm not much for New Year's resolutions, mostly because I either fail at them, or forget them before the end of January. But, if I were into New Year's goals or resolutions, I would probably form it around the song below.  The chorus says:
"I wanna live with abandon
Give You all that I am
Every part of my heart Jesus
I place in Your hands
I wanna live with abandon"

To me, these words are so powerful. They show so much passion, and excitement, and devotion. They show peace, and humility. They show fearlessness, and trust, and a selflessness beyond what my mind can comprehend.

If I were to write a goal for this New Year, maybe it wouldn't even be the chorus of this song...

But a prayer that God would give me the strength, and trust, and selflessness to sing this song.
And truly mean
Every.
Single.
Word.

So, now, my goal is not to live with abandon. My goal is to say "I want to live with abandon." And really, truly mean it. My goal is to learn to trust God in every single way. My goal is to know that his way is the best way. Even if it goes against everything I want. My goal is to trust completely. Entirely. Unknowingly. Always.

So that I can say "I want to live with abandon. I want to give all that I can. I want to give you myself. I want to offer to do whatever you want me to do. I want to see you change my world. I want to be part of you changing the world. I want to help like you. I want to love like you. I want to shine like you."

I want to say that. But I need God's help.

It's a goal that I need God's help with. Isn't that just down right funny?! My goal is to trust God, but I need God's help with that! Doesn't that just sound confusing? But isn't it a picture of how great and powerful God is?

Anyways, I hope something I said made sense, and I wish you all a very Happy New Year!

Live With Abandon ~ Newsboys



What are your New Year's goal/resolution?

Happy New Year!

Love,
Rebekah

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

 

I'm thankful for so many things, there's no way I could name them all! But, I'll start with a few.

• A wonderfully warm house
• Filled with family
• Who all have full tummies because of some AMAZING food.
• My awesome friends
• Who make me laugh. (Sometimes so hard, that my stomach hurts.)
• Jesus
• Who loves me so much that he died for me
• So that I can have eternal life.
• Phone calls and e-mails
• From (other) family and friends.
• Clothes on my back
• Food on my shelves
• A roof over my head
• And all of the other things that God has blessed me with!

"For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Hope your Thanksgiving was HAPPY! :)

Love,
Rebekah

Why I'm excited

I thought I'd share things that I'm excited about! :)

1. Driving 32 miles straight on the highway!!!!!!! License here I come!!! Soon that is, soon...
2. My sibs have their second swim meet tomorrow! They did a wonderful job last time, and I can't wait to see the results!
3. THANKSGIVING!!!!!!! Turkey, cranberry cause, sweet potato soufflé, pumpkin pie! (Yes person-in-particular, I know you don't like it...<3) But, OH! I can't wait!!  
4. And now my main reason.... [cue the drumrolls, please]

Getting CBD packages in the mail!!!! Okay. From the UPS truck, but still.. The excitement's the same. :)

 

 NO, that's not what they look like. But isn't that edit AMAZING!!!!

 

What the CD covers actually look like. :)

They are (Clockwise from top left)...

1. One Song At A Time ~ Jamie Grace
2. Blue Mountain ~ Brandon Heath
3. Gold ~ Britt Nicole
4. Christmas Is Here ~ Brandon Heath

 

I've listened to them all but the Christmas one. I guess you could say I'm dragging out the excitement for as long as I can. ;)

 

I also got...

 

All of the Melanie Dickerson books!!!! You can read more about them on my 'Favorites' page.

 

They're there in order of publication.

1. The Healers Apprentice
2. The Merchants Daughter
3. The Fairest Beauty
4. (Not shown) The Captive Maiden

 

The reason the last one isn't shown, is because I didn't get it when I got everything else. But, now I have it!

Not exactly the best pic, but you get the point. :)

 

 

Well, anyways, those are the reasons that I'm excited! Why are you excited?

Hope you enjoyed!

 

Love,

Rebekah



Idea and feedback PLEASE!!!

Okay. I have a question for everyone. I've seen lots of people do a 'Thankful' post in the days leading up to Thanksgiving. I think/thought that was a great idea, but I hadn't seen it until a few days into the month, and didn't want to start it then. So, my idea is, to do an Advent post throughout December, in the days leading up to Christmas. I'll most likely include a song, and if I miss a day, I'll (supposedly) catch up the next day.

My question is, do you think this is a good idea? Is it something you would be interested in reading/watching? Please let me know whether it be in a comment, or an e-mail, or however-easier-for-you. :) I'd love to see what you think about it, whether good, or bad! Okay, maybe not so bad... ;)

Waiting to see what you think!

Love,
Rebekah

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!!!!!

Well, your birthday starts your first day of your week's vacation. You've already gone to someone's house and come home with lots and lots of wood, and you're planning on painting the rest of the downstairs tomorrow. And doing some other strenuous work around the house. You might get some relaxation time... or not. :)

I'm using orange for this post/letter, because I think that's your favorite color. :) (Why are we buying dog food?)

I didn't get you a birthday present, so I kind of feel bad (understatement) but I know you don't really care if you get presents or not did help make your cake. The cake that we made while you were out getting the wood. The cake that tasted really, really good.

And I'm not doing school at the moment, but it's because I'm writing this letter, so, I'm not doing school because I love you.... or something like that. (Some things sound better on the inside. )

This letter is kind of all scrambled about (green eggs and ham?) but, at least you can understand what I'm saying. (MUMBLER!!!!)

...as long as you can see it that is, as you always say! The eyes are the first things to go! Or maybe it's the mind, you don't always remember. ;)

The points I want to get across are:

1. Happy Birthday!
2. I'm so glad you're my Daddy!
3. You are the best Aged P in the world!
4. Thank-you for all that you do! Especially the stuff that you do over, and over, and over.
5. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
6. I love you so, so much!

I love you Daddy, Happy Birthday!

 

For those of you who may not have understood this at all, that's okay. I didn't write it for you. :)

Love,
Rebekah

4 months

Sunday, October 6, 2013
Today marks four months since I left. Four months since we packed all of our belongings into a truck and a half and our van, and left. Four months since I last saw my closest friends face to face. Four months since I last felt their arms wrap around me. Four months since I last grabbed them in my embrace and held them tight. Four months since I heard their voices, loud, and clear. Four months since I said goodbye.

I had dreams of staying. The thought crossed my mind once or twice several times, about not leaving. Staying behind. Moving in with another family. (I had had more than one mention it, and at the time, I had taken it rather seriously.) It meant dance, and babysitting. Friends, and fun times. Sleepovers, and silly moments. It meant that I didn't have to leave. And, sometimes, I was willing to make that choice.

Unfortunately, I wasn't legally old enough to make that choice. Which meant that I had no other choice but to leave...

I left living within a day's drive of my family. I left the house that had housed me and my family for nine and a half years. I left the only house my sisters ever remember. I left the church we had attended, the reason we had come in the first place. I left the church where we had gone almost every Wednesday night. I left the churches where the people had watched me grow up from a little girl, to a young woman. The churches that had seen my youngest sister born. I left a homeschool group with almost 100 families, always loving, laughing, playing, teasing. I left biweekly dance classes. I left babysitting for some of the best kids and parents ever. I left my closest friends, and the friends that weren't so close. I left them all.

And, I had left my life. Or so I thought.

We left. And I was still alive. Still breathing. Still thinking. Still looking, and hearing, and feeling. Although, there were some things that I tried not to feel. Some things, that I didn't want to think about, especially while I was in the noisy van. Because, I knew I would cry. Because, I knew it would hurt. Because, I knew that there was no turning back. I knew, that things would never be the same. I knew, that no matter how hard I hoped, how hard I wished, how hard I prayed, things would change.


Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Today, marks four months since we arrived. Four months since we stepped through new doors. Four months since my dream had ended. Four months since reality hit once again. Four months since we walked into an empty house and sat down on the living room floor. Four months since I knew that life would have to carry on... here.

And I was right about things changing. It's been four months. Things there have already changed. A new set up for babysitting, not to mention new kids and parents. New teachers for dance. New programs, and new leaders for youth group and Wednesday nights. New faces and new activities in the homeschool group. New things, that I will never be able to experience the same way that my friends experience them. Things that they have fun at, and talk about, and I have no clue what it was like. Things, that change our relationship.

Things in my life have changed too. New schedules, new activities, new subjects. New responsibilities, new experiences. New faces, new layouts, and new rules. New things that my friends won't know. New things that my friends won't see, the same way I see them. Things that they have no clue about. Things, that change our relationship.

 I miss them. I cried the other night, envisioning their faces in my head. Faces, that were fuzzy, and weren't clear. I replayed their voices. Voices that didn't sound right. I thought of scenarios and experiences that we had been through. Experiences, that I couldn't quite remember.

Oh, yes, I'll always remember them! No, I'd never forget!  I'll always remember my friends. The friends who I saw four times a week for several weeks, the friends who always made me laugh so hard at the end of our writing co-op. The friends who sang with me up on stage. The friends who I danced with every, single week. The friends who I saw maybe once a month. The friends who I've known so long, I just don't remember how we met. The friends who were the first ones I met when we first came. The friends who tell me stories of when we supposedly hated each other, and I have no clue what they're talking about. The friends who can play certain instruments like nobody's business. The friends who will break out in joyous song, just because. The friend whose always willing to help me with some technical problem The friend who laughs at my silly antics (which sometimes, were just for her). The friends who ask me for advice. The friends who love to talk. The friends who are quiet. The friends who listen to the music that I listen to. The friends who listen to music, that I would never listen to if I had the choice. The friends, who are so diverse, in so many ways. The friends who I have number upon number of priceless memories with. The friends, who don't feel like friends, but like family.

I'm thankful for letters, and phone calls, and e-mail, and text. For chat, and instant messaging, and video calls. But, it's not the same.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Now, I was told several times before we moved, 'Oh, you'll make new friends!' and 'Oh, it'll be fun!' and 'Oh, it's an adventure!' (I would cringe when I heard that last one after the first few times.) I could see that it was obviously God's plan, and I knew that he was in charge and in control, and that it was for his glory, and that it would all work out. But, honestly (since I've been rather honest in this post so far) I didn't really care. I was losing my friends, my life for nine and a half years. I don't like change. (If you haven't been able to tell already) I didn't want to move.

I came across a quote the other day, that really struck me.

 

I didn't want the move. I was sick of it, tired of it having been my family's focus for several months. I hoped and prayed for another alternative. This move was everything the quote was talking about. Not only was the move for God's glory, this move is preparing me for my future with God, in my glory.

 

Now, that doesn't mean that all of a sudden, I decide that the move is/was the best thing in the world. That doesn't mean that I'm so happy, happy, happy about the move. That doesn't mean that I forget the past nine and a half (plus four months) of my life.  It doesn't mean that I think or say things that are false, just because this is preparing me for glory!

 

It doesn't mean that I never look back, that I never dream, what it would have been like if I had stayed. It doesn't mean that I don't cry when I think about my friends. It doesn't mean that I don't feel sad when they all get to experience new things without me. It doesn't mean that I don't miss my friends, and the kids that I babysat, and the people I knew.

 

Sometimes, I'm not sure exactly what it means.

 

But, for me now, it means cherishing, and relishing over the times that we had. Keeping in touch, and keeping those relationships, no matter how hard it is, or how busy I may be. It means loving, and missing those people. It means wishing things, that are, in such, wishes. It means hoping and dreaming for things that may, or may never be. And sometimes, it means crying for things that will never be the same again.

 

Because what I lost, I will regain. It may not be the same, but I will see my friends again. I will see the kids I babysat, and the people from church. If not on this earth, then in glory.

 

Because what I go through, the trials, and the heartache (and maybe even sometimes, heartbreak) it is preparing me for glory.

 

What you go through. The trials, and the heartache, and, sometimes, the heartbreak. Is just preparing you for glory.

 

But, most importantly, it's all giving God glory.

 

It's been four months since I left. It's been four months since I've arrived. I haven't always had the best attitude, and there were times where I had the worst (WORST!!!!) attitude. But, all in all, I am being molded and formed, and God has gotten the glory.

Friends, I love and miss you all, and I will never, never, never, forget you, or the times we've had together. I love and miss you all beyond words. Words, that I can not express no matter how hard I try.

Love,
Rebekah

Side note, I'm not sure what happened (whether it was my brain or calendar...) but it's actually only been 3 months... Like I said, not sure what happened, but I just wanted to clear that up. :)

Update and Poem

Okay, really, I PROMISE!!! I have been working on new posts!!! They just aren't ready yet. Still. Yes, I know, lame excuse, but, my excuse none the less.

So, since I haven't posted anything lately, and posting only the above is even lamer than my excuse, I've decided to share a poem with you that I wrote a while back.

 

Friends

July 13, 2013

Friends who laugh,

Friends who cheer,

Friends who cry,

Friends so dear.

 

Friends who throw,

Friends who catch,

Friends who are

the best-est batch.

 

Friends who run,

Friends who fall,

Friends who talk,

and love to call.

 

Friends who photo,

Friends who blog,

Friends with cats,

Friends with dogs.

 

Friends who bake,

Friends who eat,

Hanging-out's

the biggest treat.

 

Friends who dance,

Friends that don't,

Friends that play,

Friends that won't.

 

Friends I love,

Friends I miss,

Friends remember,

Times of bliss.

 

 

We are beginning to start school tomorrow, so I'm not sure when I'll post next, but hopefully it will be soon! And I really wanted the poem in the middle, but it just won't cooperate!

 

Love,

Rebekah